November 13, 2006

Gathering My Stones

Other boys stay out late and smoke.
They use bad words.
They worship false gods.

When they ask me to come along
I say I'm busy.

I'm keeping my hands clean.
It's been hard work, really really hard work
keeping my hands clean all these years.

I do not live in a glass house.
I am not one of those people.
I've earned the right.

And now I'm throwing rocks at you.

What do you think?

you throwing rocks at me? Throwing at me?

HEY JOEYYY! GUYS THrowing rocks at me?

I said, you throwing em' at me?

Huh?

Poetry's so good, huh,

alrigth big guy, i'll give you this one

just back off the commas

ok?

Posted by: heroic imp at November 13, 2006 6:22 PM

I think this goes beyond beautiful. Really well done.

Posted by: Erin at November 14, 2006 6:58 AM

This one just gets better every time i come back for more.

Posted by: heroic imp at November 14, 2006 11:09 AM

Wow. This one is amazing. Bravo!

Posted by: Katie (Minta) at November 15, 2006 4:05 PM

I, too, have read and reread this. It seems to go one level deeper than many of your poems. It works on more than one level: exploits the epigram/cliche, ofers contrast and a constructed diction that makes the speaker at once one of the boys and one of the adults. Funny and not funny. A tinge of melancholy, a hint of superiority, maybe envy. Wanting to belong, wanting to rise above it, be a grown-up. Nice work. Commas not a problem for me.

Posted by: lemonblossom at November 16, 2006 6:14 AM

I don't get the comma thing. There's one very little, completely non-offensive comma in the whole poem!

Posted by: Katie (Minta) at November 17, 2006 6:04 AM

some folks are just comma shy. maybe they got sick once eating too many commas. or they were locked in the comma closet as a childhood punishment.

i try to avoid the comma myself (though i suffered no pause-related traumas...that i can recall).

Posted by: e. at November 17, 2006 9:12 AM

JOEY!! They're telling us they got something wrong with our commas remark!

OH REALLY!

Well, let me tell you all to get away from here'a

Yeah get away from here'a

Bad Comma sticking round a joint like this

Posted by: heroic imp at November 18, 2006 6:03 PM

commageddon--pregnant pauses running through the streets gathering up stones

Posted by: impfan at November 19, 2006 7:04 AM

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