October 6, 2007

To Do Lists of the Dead

I'm borderline religious about To Do Lists. For example, when I go to bed, I often remind myself that while it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, it's easier for a rich man to get into heaven than it is for most individuals to complete three projects with overlapping deadlines on time, unless they have a To Do List to help them prioritize.

So I got to thinking about To Do Lists, and religions, and how some Mormons used to baptize people after they'd passed on. And I thought I could perform a similar service by creating To Do Lists for the dead.

Here's what I have so far:

Richard Burton

  • Use EVP to star as lovable robot king in upcoming Pixar film.
  • Possess body of small dog and make it sing songs from Camelot.
  • Stop haunting Elizabeth Taylor's underwear.

Richard Nixon

  • Get Facebook account.
  • Fill Teddy Kennedy's shoes with ectoplasm.
  • Stop haunting Henry Kissinger's underwear.

Got any you'd like to add?

update: a pal just pointed out that Dr. Katz had the exact same idea 7 years ago. Dang you Dr. Katz! Why are you always 7 years ahead of me with everything?!

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What do you think?

Sigmund Freud
-Supervise Dr. Melfi on more effective methods of ending therapy relationships
-Leave joke about archetypes on Jung's MySpace page
-Stop haunting Dr. Phil's underwear

Posted by: xifer at October 9, 2007 9:02 AM

What I'd really like to see is "To-Do Lists of the Damned."

Posted by: So-Called Bill at October 10, 2007 3:49 PM

Veronica Vortex (aka my better half) was talking about doing one for Ken Lay. We figured to do #1 was "get Satan to stop calling me "'Kenny boy'."
-Cecil

Posted by: Cecil Vortex at October 10, 2007 8:07 PM

Or better yet-how about Lee Atwater who started it all...

Posted by: xifer at October 11, 2007 1:22 PM

Janice Joplin
-Posess Madonna's body and sing a song by Nick Gravenites
-Give Brittney Spears a spirited talk-to
-Stop haunting Tom Waits' underwear

Posted by: so-called Sara at October 12, 2007 5:35 AM

You don't believe Ken Lay really died just before going to prison do you? Step 1: Find a hobo of approximately Ken's height and build. Step 2: Verify the Swiss accts. are up to date. Step 3: Arrange for transportation to Paraguay in cash. I leave the rest to the class as an exercise.

Posted by: xian at October 31, 2007 12:49 PM

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