I’m borderline religious about To Do Lists. For example, when I go to bed, I often remind myself that while it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, it’s easier for a rich man to get into heaven than it is for most individuals to complete three projects with overlapping deadlines on time, unless they have a To Do List to help them prioritize.
So I got to thinking about To Do Lists, and religions, and how some Mormons used to baptize people after they’d passed on. And I thought I could perform a similar service by creating To Do Lists for the dead.
Here’s what I have so far:
Richard Burton
- Use EVP to star as lovable robot king in upcoming Pixar film.
- Possess body of small dog and make it sing songs from Camelot.
- Stop haunting Elizabeth Taylor’s underwear.
Richard Nixon
- Get Facebook account.
- Fill Teddy Kennedy’s shoes with ectoplasm.
- Stop haunting Henry Kissinger’s underwear.
Got any you’d like to add?
update: a pal just pointed out that Dr. Katz had the exact same idea 7 years ago. Dang you Dr. Katz! Why are you always 7 years ahead of me with everything?!
Sigmund Freud
-Supervise Dr. Melfi on more effective methods of ending therapy relationships
-Leave joke about archetypes on Jung’s MySpace page
-Stop haunting Dr. Phil’s underwear
What I’d really like to see is “To-Do Lists of the Damned.”
Veronica Vortex (aka my better half) was talking about doing one for Ken Lay. We figured to do #1 was “get Satan to stop calling me “‘Kenny boy’.”
-Cecil
Or better yet-how about Lee Atwater who started it all…
Janice Joplin
-Posess Madonna’s body and sing a song by Nick Gravenites
-Give Brittney Spears a spirited talk-to
-Stop haunting Tom Waits’ underwear
You don’t believe Ken Lay really died just before going to prison do you? Step 1: Find a hobo of approximately Ken’s height and build. Step 2: Verify the Swiss accts. are up to date. Step 3: Arrange for transportation to Paraguay in cash. I leave the rest to the class as an exercise.