I liked SCB’s suggestion in the comments that I get an HBO special entitled “Uncorked.” I’m thinking I could carve out a niche as “the guy who complains about his small town with specifics no one outside of that town can understand.”
“What is the deal with all those ‘no left turn’ signs on Park? Anybody else find themselves driving in circles trying to get over to C’era Una Volta for some of their delicious housemade Pasta alla Boscaiola? Come on now!”
“I’m thinking the ice cream at Tucker’s is like crystal meth, if crystal meth came in Rocky Road and Orange Sherbert. Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? I’m right about that, aren’t I?”
“Boy, all those stacks of books over at Kevin Patricks Books on Encinal are wild, don’t you think? Who would stack books like that in an earthquake zone? It’s an unusual choice, I say. Good books though, at reasonable prices.”
What nothing about wine? No Blacksmith Cellars references? Come on!
I’ve suggested that you do the audience warm-ups for MLH. Now I’m not so sure. . . .
“Has anyone else noticed that captain marsupial has a rockin’ new beard? What’s up with that beard? And don’t get me started on Blacksmith Cellars and their 2003 Cab! Come on now!”
-Cecil
i’ve never yearned to be ‘in’ on the joke more, or felt more painfully excluded from the ‘in’ crowd.
cec, it’s like my dungeons and dragons nightmare all over again, with you playing the role of marc smith. not even my 13th level monk with ‘quivering hand’ and the +6 halberd makes me feel good.
yes, i remember and said ‘quivering hand.’ so what?!