Million-Dollar Ideas

Tartare and Beets. I play Beets.

Whatever your business, consider organizing what you sell into groups of three products, and giving each group a number. For example, if you run a coffee shop, one group could be “a machiatto, a ginger cookie, and a kale salad.” Another group could be “a soft boiled egg and two single-espressos.” You get the idea. … Read more

Dial-a-Madlib-word. Call any day or time, say “adjective” or “number” or “person in the room” and get the goods for 10 cents a pop. 20 cents for “type of liquid.” I know, speaking as a doting parent, I would pay $1.40 cents easy to have my children’s Madlib-word-appetite sated.

I don’t have all the details worked out, but I’ve got my high-concept pitch ready for “Speed IV: Fear the Egg!” Keanu’s back and the Dennis Hopper role is played by a soft-boiled egg. The egg’s planted a bomb on the bus. Keanu has to cook the egg and eat it before the bomb goes … Read more

I just had a great idea, and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna make me a million dollars, give or take. It’s really more of a name than an idea. The name is: “Chicken-palooza.” I haven’t decided yet whether it’s going to be a palooza for chickens. Or perhaps one by chickens. Or maybe a palooza … Read more

A band that plays operatic versions of 80s power ballads. And of course, we’re calling ourselves: “Aria Speedwagon.”

I thought I’d had a lovely night out with the family tonight, enjoying Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast — the Musical.” But as we reversed out of our parking space, my son, Power Vortex, showed us how much better the evening could have been. “Tale as old as time…” I crooned. “I am Optimus Prime….” … Read more

I woke up this morning with a new million-dollar idea: “Thunderwear.” I don’t even think I need to explain to the readers of this blog what a product called Thunderwear might be, right? I mean, seriously. You can’t help but make a million dollars with an idea like that. So anyways, I amble on over … Read more

Everybody’s always complaining about how people don’t read any more, right? Well, I have the solution, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to make me a million dollars. The reason nobody’s reading any more is obvious — we love TV. And the solution’s just as obvious: a TV channel that shows books, one page at … Read more