Recently in Virtual LP Category

A little twist in the ongoing Virtual LP story this week. After a few years of recording fun, including collaborations with swell folks like Yaniv Soha, Jake Vortex and the notorious eb, MC DD von H, Shonny Vortex, Power Vortex, and others, I've gone and joined a band.

We've been messing around with various tunes, including a few of the tracks on this site, some new ones, and the occasional cover. (We've playing "I'm in Love with a Girl" recently and I'm hoping we get to record that soon.)

We've been calling ourselves "The Reuben Kincaid," a name uke-master Christian Crumlish came up with about 15 years ago, and a few of us fell for in a "boy, if we ever have a band..." kinda way. So really, TRK has existed in that "if we ever have a band" part of our minds since the mid-90s.

In addition to uke-master Crumlish, TRK features "So-Called Bill" Cassel on bass, Ryan "don't call me Bryan" Short on bongos, and me on guitar and sometimes keys.

Here's our very first track, a tune called "Single Cell Critter" that just may be the angriest song about a sea full of bacon ever written.

time: 2:09 seconds; specs: 5.2M
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Here's another track for Der Virtual LP in a blatant attempt to capitalize on the recent media frenzy surrounding Ira and my cover of "Welcome to the Working Week."

This one's called "I Cook It 2 It" and it's, well, it's sort of a hippity hop version of a recent blog post about me cooking.

Wearing a chef's hat when I do it,
-Cecil

time: 1:10 seconds; specs: 1.6M
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Here's the latest addition to the Der Virtual LP. Ira Vortex (better known to some as so-called "So-Called Bill") and I have started playing tunes of late. Mostly originals, including a few chestnuts from the VLP, but also a few covers. This 'uns our first recorded venture, with Ira on bass as well as co-producing -- it's sorta of a jazzy hepster-ish version of Elvis Costello's ode to spending money and getting so convinced.

In related news, Ira and I have also joined forces with the infamous Xian and the soon-to-be-infamous Ryan to forge a fearsome four-piece called "The Reuben Kincaid." Watch this space for TRK tracks TK.

Waiting for your family's big day to arrive,
-Cecil

time: 2:15 seconds; specs: 3.1M
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Here's a new addition to the Virtual LP, written and recorded this morning. It's a true story, almost. "No incantations will bring back the pie" indeed.

I should probably be clear that I'm not really that upset about the missing piece of pumpkin pie. I mean, I like pumpkin pie. But mostly I just wanted to see if I could write the world's angriest song about a missing slice. Sort of like, what would happen if you took the last piece of pumpkin pie from Dick Cheney, and he started to sing about it....

Eat hearty,
-Cecil

time: :49 seconds; specs: 1.1M
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I've fallen back in love with the piano. In particular, I can't stop playing one of my very favorite songs -- "Time After Time" by the unbeatable Cahn and Styne. Holy cow could those fellows write a tune. There are incredible versions of this out there by the likes of Sinatra and Chet Baker. A personal favorite is by Alex Chilton, off Cliches (highly recommended).

I took a crack at recording a cover of this beautiful song this evening. As with pretty much all the tracks on the Virtual LP, this is a relatively short number -- a smidge over 60 seconds. Just piano and vocals. I even resisted my usual urge to overtreat the voice. A fun Sunday night project. The house was warm, the way houses get when it's snowing outside. Only, no snow.... Hope you enjoy it, and thanks for listening,
-Cecil

time: 1:06 seconds; specs: 1.6M
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Here's a sleepy little tune-let to add to the Virtual LP. I've been messing around with these changes for a few days now and wanted to see tonight whether I could get a few takes recorded around the margins of a work eve.

One program note: following Shonny Vortex's recent vocal debut, Lullaby marks the Virtual LP premiere for Power Vortex, here on backup vocals. He did in two takes. Quite the pro, that Power.

Thanks for listening and nighty night,
-Cecil

update: new version uploaded Saturday with a vocal fix, guitar, and a rousing coda.

time: 1:29 seconds; specs: 1.3M
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Here's the latest in the ongoing project the cognoscenti likes to call the Virtual LP. I love the cognoscenti. I just can't let myself get too attached. You know how they are.

This tune marks the "World Wide Web" debut of Shonny Vortex, who turns in a, I'll say it, stellar performance on backup vocals. The song's about a true fact -- 7 coats I had, 7 coats I lost. I've literally had and lost around 7 coats over the last stretch while My Mind Was Wandering. A maddening thought, one I could only quiet by, you know, setting it to music. Thanks for listening. May all your coats come home.
-Cecil

time: 1:01 seconds; specs: 950K
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When I first put my real name up here on the site about three weeks ago, I thought to myself (largely in the second person) "Not to worry, So-Called 'Cecil.' It'll be years before you feel the urge to post something that in substance or by way of word choice might leave you later thinking, 'Perhaps this isn't the sort thing I'd necessarily want associated with my name for the rest of my life.'"

Turns out I was off by roughly X, where X = [years minus three weeks].

Here's the latest addition to the Virtual LP. You've been warned. Therefore you can't say, really, that I didn't warn you.

time: 1:08 seconds; specs: 1.6 MB
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Once again it's been a while since my last track on the virtual lp. I've started playing piano again of late. Not sure what's triggered it, but it's fun. Here's a mimosa toast to piano, on this Saturday morn.

Specifically, my daughter brought home a great Disney songbook, which led to this here mini-cover of "Everybody Wants to Be a Cat" from Disney's immortal Aristocats. (Not to be confused with more recent and slightly more mortal flick entitled The Aristocrats, particularly on family movie night.)

Thanks for listening.....
-Cecil

time: 1:35 seconds; specs: 2.1 MB
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note: updated from Saturday's initial version.

Like a lot of kids, I grew up dreaming that one day I'd write a song about "accretion" (defined by Merriam-Webster's as "increase by external addition or accumulation, as by adhesion of external parts or particles").

No, I was told. No, that wouldn't happen. Couldn't happen. They didn't say it shouldn't happen. Or bloudn't happen. But they might as well have.

Well guess what? Dreams really can come true. Assuming your dreams relate to writing a song about accretion. Take that, naysayers!

This latest addition to the Virtual LP features vocals, keys, 'n drums. It's partly influenced by my absolute favoritist record of the last few months -- Harry Nilsson's extraordinary Nilsson Sings Newman, from 1970. Holy cow does that record have fantastic harmonies. I can't claim to match, but it did inspire me to close this track out with a few waa-oh's and ooh la la's.

Thanks for listening,
-Cecil

time: 1:44 seconds; specs: 1.6 mb
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Over the last few weeks I've begun tripping and cursing and toe-stubbing my way around the magical world of midi recording. The neatest thing so far has been seeing how easy it is go from playing a piece to printing out the score of what you just played. Crazy neat, in fact.

Much less neat has been the crackling I keep hearing coming from my headphones when I try to load more than one instrument in my brand new "Plug Sound Pro" soft synth. Or perhaps it's not the soft synth that's crackling and it's just that my head's on fire?

Anyways, here's the first result of all that toe-stubbing and crackling -- a Plug Sound Pro-free orchestral number that's the first instrumental on the old Virtual LP since Double Agent of Love, hit the charts in mainland China back in the summer of '04. This one's called (Gibbous Moon) because I like song titles with parentheticals. And I like the word "gibbous."

Keep on rocking (in the gibbous world),
-Cecil

time: 1:02 seconds; specs: (Less than) 1 mb
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It's been about three months since I posted a new song to the ole Virtual LP -- the last number being Welcome to Your (Doom of Clowns).

Happily, I found a little time this past weekend to record a tune I'd written a year or three back. The song's called Styrofoam and it features lead vocals by the notorious Xian who did, I think, a rockin' job.

Thanks for listening and hope ya enjoy the results.
-Cecil

time: 2:09 seconds; specs: 2 mb (yes, incredibly -- another 2+ minute long song!)
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Earlier in the month I promised to deliver this here clown song, based on a line gifted to me by my son. "Welcome to your doom of clowns," he said. Really.

Until a few days ago I thought this was an acoustic number -- a vaguely Robert-Frippy 2/3 (or is it 4/6?) song about clowns. That was until I got some drum software (Fruity Loops -- highly recommended). And then my electric guitar came back from the shop. I hadn't played it in ages and -- well, you know how that goes.

So...the song is still about clowns. But acoustic, not so much. I'm hoping to get around to recording the acoustic version one of these days soon, but until then, please: play it loud.

time: 1:59 seconds; specs: 1.9 mb (creeping toward two full minutes I am....)
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Update: The original vocal track was kinda messy and driving me nuts, so I replaced it this morn. New cleaned up version now posted, as of 10:22 am PST....

It's been a little while since I've written a new song, but I've been playing a bit more of late and -- hey presto -- two ditties appear. Fun to get back to recording after a little break. Today's tune is A Thing I Like to Do, the musical version of a post from a few weeks ago, now with vocals, keyboards, and a light dusting of guitar. It's unusual among the original tunes on my virtual lp in that it's nearly two (2!) minutes long.

Coming pretty soon: "Welcome to Your Doom of Clowns," based on a line my 6-year-old delivered a few months back -- a line I realized just this past week is one of the best song titles I'm ever gonna run into.

time: 1:53 seconds; specs: 1.7 mb
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Here's a tune and a time capsule, written on a rare day when my daughter Shonny woke up in a so-so mood. Fortunately, it didn't last.
-Cecil

time: 50 seconds; specs: 779K
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A few days ago, So-Called Bill posted a comment saying "I'll pay you five dollars to write a song called 'Starfish Sucking on My Nose.'"

Well. Never let it be said that I won't write a song called "Starfish Sucking on My Nose" for five dollars.
-Cecil

time: 24 seconds; specs: 378K
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It's been a while since the last track on ye olde Virtual LP. Much as Monkey Vortex Radio Theater is starting to crackle back to life, and a new Deathmarch is nearly upon us, I'm starting to find a little time here and there to mess around with music once agin'.

So here's a micro-tune, written and recorded today for the littlest Vortices. It was Photo Day at school. A magical day, I think we can all agree. And one well worth celebrating.

Thanks for listening, -CV

time: 29 seconds; specs: 470K
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Here's another track on the Virtual LP. If you've played a few of these before, you might recall that I have a bit of a thing for piano/vocal standards like (to name two...) The Best Things in Life Are Free and For Every Man There's a Woman.

This time out, it's an update of a classic you all know and some percentage of you love. Feel free to sing along at home with I Love Lucy, written in 1953 -- lyrics by Harold "I wrote the lyrics to 'I Love Lucy'" Adamson and music by Eliot "Yes you did, my old friend, but leave us not forget that I am the one who wrote the music to 'I Love Lucy'" Daniel.

Thanks for listening and dropping by, -CV

time: 1:08 seconds; specs: 1 MB
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Just when you thought all the Cauliflower had been eaten, The Challenge returns! From the mysterious guitar-plucking fingers of a man called "xourmas" comes today's shimmering turn of the Melon wheel. It takes Jake's sax piece which took eb's vocal piece which took the original piano piece...and it spreads a groovy guitar line across the top. The result: Cauliflower Jam.

For a quick recap of the journey there and back again, here's the whole sequence:

• Cauliflower Melon (the original piano piece)
• Cauliflowermelonslide (Bob's remix with slide guitar)
• Melancholy Flower (eb's version adds vocals)
• Tower of Cauliflower Power (Yaniv slices in with mad beats and bass)
• Straight Up: Cauliflower (Jake adds sax to eb's vocals)
• Radio Cauliflower (MC DD von H's cauliflower jam)
• Cauliflower Maximus (MC DD von H's opus!)
• Cauliflower Jam (xourmas' groove thing)

-CV

xourmas' Remix - Cauliflower Jam
time: 1:07; specs: 1MB
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The Challenge goes on! Two new mixes just in from the uber-talented and oft overheated mind of reclusive madman MC DD von H. Both build on the original piano number plus eb's stellar vocals.

First up is Radio Cauliflower, a radio friendly mix with guitar, beats, bass, beach sounds, and more. Then comes something really extraordinary -- a 3 minute feast of a remix called Cauliflower Maximus. And I'll just say: Holy cow. Well worth your time.

For a quick recap, here's the whole sequence:

• Cauliflower Melon (the original piano piece)
• Cauliflowermelonslide (Bob's remix with slide guitar)
• Melancholy Flower (eb's version adds vocals)
• Tower of Cauliflower Power (Yaniv slices in with mad beats and bass)
• Straight Up: Cauliflower (Jake adds sax to eb's vocals)
• Radio Cauliflower (MC DD von H's cauliflower jam)
• Cauliflower Maximus (MC DD von H's opus!)

If you're thinking of joining the mad loop, start with any one of these versions, do whatcha gotta do, then email whatcha got to: vortex@mediajunkie.com. Thanks for listening. And thanks to everyone who's participated so far. I dig each version, and the sequence from start to finish is quite a neat nod to the personal nature of creativity. -CV

MC DD von H's Remix - Radio Cauliflower
time: 1:15; specs: 1.1MB
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MC DD von H's Extended Remix - Cauliflower Maximus
time: 3:13; specs: 2.9MB
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About a week and a half ago I posted a short piano number and asked folks to mess around with it. Here's a brief recap of the excellent and harmonically vivid versions we've gotten back so far:

• Cauliflower Melon (the original piano piece)
• Cauliflowermelonslide (Bob Myren's remix with slide guitar)
• Melancholy Flower (eb's version with vocals)
• Tower of Cauliflower Power (Yaniv Soha's remix with beats and bass)

Today we post our first third-generation remix, in which Panamanian strongman Jake Vortex weighs in with Straight Up: Cauliflower, which starts with eb's vocal mix and then lays down a smokin' sax intro and outro. Dig.

If you're taking the challenge, feel free to start with any of these versions, then email whatcha got to: vortex@mediajunkie.com.

Thanks for listening, a tip of the reed to Jake for this latest rev, and please, watch the skies, -CV

Jake Vortex's Remix - Straight Up: Cauliflower
time: 1:12; specs: 1.1MB
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To briefly recap, a week ago I posted a short piano piece and asked folks to mess around with it. Bob and eb tossed down swank slide and vocal interps respectively. Now the Dread Pirate Yaniv Soha joins the fray.

For handy compare and contrast, here's the original piano piece, Bob's slide, and eb's piano/vocal spectacular.

Yaniv's take gets funky with it, adding beats and bass and slicing things around. The result is a subtle hypnogroove guaranteed to help you stop smoking.

Hope you're enjoying the sequence. I'm really enjoying how different these three versions have ended up. There's still time to join the adventure and live the dream. And really, Yaniv's version is just begging for some latter-day Biz Markie to mix in a little poetry.

On that note...if you're taking the challenge, feel free to start with any of these versions, then email whatcha got to: vortex@mediajunkie.com.

Thanks. And watch the skies, -CV

Yaniv Soha's Remix: Tower of Cauliflower
time: 57 seconds; specs: 900K
Press Play to play.

(For more Yaniv Soha-infused musical experiences, be sure to drop by Yaniv Soha Central.)

Last week I posted a wee chordy piano piece and asked folks to mess around with it and send me the results. First in was a sweet slice o' slide from Bob Myren. If yer just joining the fun, here's the original piano piece -- Cauliflower Melon -- and here's Bob's remix -- Cauliflowermelonslide.

Today we've got eb's take, with words, melody, and fairly spectacular vocals. You really have to hear this. She took my lil' piano piece and made art.

I'm just enjoying the hell out of this whole thing so far. Hope you're enjoying it too. Speaking of which, if you're out there and planning on taking the challenge, feel free to funk around with any of these three, then send the results to vortex@mediajunkie.com) and posted shall they be.

Thanks!

eb's Remix: Melancholy Flower
time: 47 seconds; specs: 700K
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Yesterday I exhorted folks to take this wee chordy piano piece I'd recorded (aka Cauliflower Melon) and mess around with it -- add guitar, verb, drums, guitar, slice it up, and what have you.

Lo and behold, this morning -- the very next damn day! -- my old and excellent pal Bob Myren came through with the first remix. It's a slice of slide guitar that, quite frankly, I ultra-dig. It's amazing to me the difference in mood and atmosphere that slide guitar can make. All I'm saying is, when I die, I hope I come back as a sustained note played on a slide guitar. That's all I'm saying.

If you're taking the challenge, please feel free to screw around with this one, with the original, or with both. Then send whatcha got to vortex@mediajunkie.com). I'll keep posting them as they arrive.

Thanks! And enjoy...

Bob's Remix: Cauliflowermelonslide
time: 48 seconds; specs: 1.1 MB
Press Play to play.

Tune-making and MVRT have both been considerably waylaid of late by hard disk problems and assorted other distractions. But last night I got Pro Tools working (yay!) and recorded this wee, chordy piano piece.

And with this piece comes the following open invitation to a collaborative fun-time challenge project: if you like to screw around with sound, please -- screw around with this sound!

Then send me the results and pretty much anything non-obscene, I'll post here. Add guitar, voice, drums. More piano. Verb it up. Slice it up. Whatever. And then send to Vortex (that is: vortex@mediajunkie.com).

Thanks! And enjoy...

time: 51 seconds; specs: 800K
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Here's another one of them there standards, with keys and vocals and antique steamer howl and yes, perhaps, yes indeed: the sound of time itself. It's a confusing, some might say outrageous sentiment for this holiday week: The Best Things in Life Are Free, written by B.G. DeSylva, Lew Brown, and Ray Henderson back in 1927.

time: 2:08 seconds; specs: 1.9 MB
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Here's an all-new micro-tune featuring the legendary Jake Vortex on tenor sax. We call this one Bean Thread Noodles, because much like traditional bean thread noodles, it's made from ground mung beans. Oh yeah!

Seriously though, I have no idea what that means. Mung beans? That can't be right can it? Is that a typo? If you have any better explanation, please don't be shy. We're at least as confused about this whole bean thread noodle thing as you are.

time: 22 seconds; specs: 300K
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Good golly do I love the standards. A while back, you may recall, I posted covers first of "Bye Bye, Blackbird," and then (with a lotta help from eb and Eileen Dahl) "Second Hand Rose." Great tunes, both.

Here's the third in this ongoing series of let's-just-say-non-traditional piano/vocal/guitar takes on jazz standards -- "For Every Man There's a Woman," written in 1948, with ok-they're-sorta-dated lyrics by Leo Robins and absolutely timeless music by Harold Arlen. Wotta tune. Seriously: Big ups for Harold "Harold Arlen" Arlen, author of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," "That Old Black Magic," "I've Got the World on a String" and a gazillion other bits of genius.

Let me just put it this way: If Harold Arlen was alive today and had a web site, I'd give him a free link. That's how much I like Harold Arlen.

Press Play to play.

playtime:1:34
file specs: nought but 1.4 MB mp3

Enjoy! And thanks for dropping by...

It was a more innocent time, way back in October of 2004 when I first wrote about Yu-Gi-Oh! and Zach Braff, and my secret rage. We're all a lot older now, hey? And perhaps a bit wiser too.

"What is Yu-Gi-Oh!?" Well, it's a card game. And a movie. It's a franchise. It's a way of life. It's like Pokemon, see? Only much more...Yu-Gi-Oh!

One thing's for sure: YGO! and all the YGO! cards referenced in this tune, including but not limited to "The Mad Dog of Darkness," "The Nobleman Eater Bug," and "The Axe of Despair" are all copyright (c) Kazuki Takahashi. I mean, if nothing else, we can all agree on that, right? Alright then. Enough already! On with the rock n roll!

Here's a little ditty I wrote for my son. It features Eileen Dahl on back-up vocals. Enjoy...

Press Play to play.

time: 42 seconds flat
file size: nary 670K

Back in high school I was lucky enough to have two excellent friends who were also great musicians -- Heroic Imp and SKP. They'd jam, and I'd make up some words -- insta-tunes, written and recorded in one night. And that right there was my introduction to the idear that writing and recording music is good for the brain.

Post-high school, sometime around 1987, Imp and I were at his Jersey City pad, most likely suffering an MSG hangover. He took out the 4-track, guitar, bass, and drum machine, and we wrote up a little homage to country-singing-legend-and-sometime-movie-star Mac Davis.

When we were done, musta been after midnight, we switched on the tube and there was the man -- Mac himself -- in North Dallas 40. Imp recorded a sample on the spot and then went back to his Tascam to work it into the tune.

The result has been on a cassette in various closets for 17 years or so. But this weekend I finally figgered out how to turn cassettes into MP3s -- surprisingly easy once the plug is in place. Easy and kinda like magic.

Thus it is, that all these years later, Mac Davis rides again. Giddyap!

Press Play to play.

playtime: 2:07
file specs: a scant 1.9 MB

There was music there. Musicality, I like to think. And there was a little guitar. And enthusiasm. "Say! Say! Say!"

And there was that kid, that funky funky kid -- and that unusual groove. What was her deal? It like she was clear-channeling.

And then there was the last one. The one who seemed to understand it all. He summed things up. He broke things down. And the rest of us just tried to keep pace.

Me? Me I'm still not sure. Of anything. Ever. Except this: we call it Zibby Zabble. Because really, what else could we call it?

Press Play to play.

playtime: gone in 25 seconds
file specs: a scant 400K

For this week's tune, I sent bass and a pair of keyboard tracks to Yaniv Soha -- my frequent co-conspirator and the recently ousted former CFO of yanivsoha.com. Yaniv added vocals and atmospheric guitar and, hey presto -- here are the results. (If the music sounds a little familiar, those bass and keyboard tracks also show up as the back up band behind Dan Mummert's excellent The Lotus Eaters, over on Monkey Vortex Radio Theater .)

Press Play to play.

I liked Yaniv's lyrics so much I thought I'd include them here for your reading pleasure:

Downed Them All

   come down like the rain again
   rain down like the fall
   come down from those asian drugs
   you downed them all

   catacomb stalls
   soft decay
   soft-spoken calls
   shades of grey

   you drown them all

And that's the name of that tune.

Here's a wee thing (voice talents: eb and xian) -- 26 seconds of sound, a 415K mp3. It's a scrap. A found object. A thin slice of terror. And, as an added bonus, it's also an almost entirely misleading trailer for an upcoming Monkey Vortex Radio Theater feature entitled: "I, Baby Robot." Enjoy. And watch the skies, -CV

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As we ramp up production here at the house of Vortex, I'll be aiming to post a tune every week or two. Today's is a collaborative effort recorded a few months back and written in the key of Leon Russell. As ever, it's on the fairly small side (1.3 mb), download-wise.

TV's Yaniv Soha contributes all manner of haunting notes and noises. Be sure to drop by his site for more of that distinctive Yaniv-Soha-style rock 'n roll goodness.

I think most of us have been there at one time or another. I know I have. And I don't mean that metaphorically either.

Here's a piano/vocal song about those times, and what we were thinking. And maybe even a little about what we were feeling. Standing there. All banana-handed.

It's less than one meg, not even 900K really. Because you deserve a quick-downloading song about being banana-handed. What with all the good works you do. So enjoy! And watch the skies, -CV

Press Play to play.

playtime::56 seconds
file specs: just south of 900K mp3

Here's an instrumental thang that I've been noodling around with for the last week or so.

It goes kinda like this: da da da da, da da da -- blinnngggg, da da da. Oh, ya know, it's a wee thing. Hardly even a meg. Why not just download the tune fer yourself and hear this haunting melody the way it was meant to be heard? -- with sounds....

Press Play to play.

playtime:1:03
file specs: just south of 1MB mp3

Breaking news: Lyrics for Double Agent of Love are currently being developed by a small but well-trained army of underpaid worthsmithies working under the watchful eye and toe-tapping heel of xian. Look for the altogether vocalized version, coming (fairly) soon to a cecilvortex.com near you.

As a follow up to our smash hit "Bye Bye, Blackbird, here's the second in a continuing series of occasional piano/vocal jazz standards plucked from bygone days. This time, we're headed all the way back to 1921 for "Second Hand Rose," written by Grant Clarke and James F. "the F stands for foot pedal, sonny, and don't you forget it" Hanley.

This track features lead vocals by eb (of "Clowney" fame) and and lead German-style vocals by Eileen Dahl (of "Love" fame).

playtime:1:07
file specs: roughly 1MB mp3

Thanks for listening...

I'll be posting a few (usually fairly short) tunes up as we go. Some solo multitrack homebrew this and that. Some long-distance musica-collabarativo. And the occasional piano/vocal jazz standard from 1926.

Here's the first tune out the gate, a piano/vocal jazz standard from 1926: "Bye bye, blackbird," written by the great Henderson and Dixon.

playtime:1 minute or so
file specs: roughly 1MB mp3
how to:right-click on the song name and choose "Save Target as..." to download the file. Or just click on the link and wait a minute or so for your player to come up. If it's jumpy, give it a sec, rewind, and play again -- that's just the file loading in.

Thanks for listening...